In a previous entry I talked about a different kind of friend...a friend that could help and support others. In this entry I will be explaining how those people, those friends, were able to help those in need.
To take care of others you have to learn how to take care of yourself. While that may sound selfish, it is quite opposite. Taking care of yourself is a vital aspect of growing up and dealing with life. It may sound more appealing to take care of others and always think of others before yourself...but if you haven't learned how to take care of yourself then how can people expect you to take care of them?
If you haven't learned how to take care of yourself then you haven't learned a life lesson that is required for being a support system. The life lesson needed is a very hard concept to grasp...taking responsibility for yourself and your actions. It seems simple when put in these terms...but it isn't. Growing from a small child to an adult has taught most of us that we can succeed by placing the blame, responsibility, and consequences on someone else. We have been trained that if something goes wrong that somebody or something is at fault, not us. Have you ever been fired or disciplined at a job? How many of you went home saying that the manager didn't understand...that they were picking on you...that everybody does it and you shouldn't be the only one to get in trouble? Why?
When push comes to shove, you were disciplined or fired because of something you did. Did your friends and coworkers make you give away free food? No. Did your manager pick on you for you doing something that you thought wasn't a big deal? No - you broke a company policy. It wasn't anyone's fault but yours and yet we all blame others for our failures and wrongdoings.
I had a friend that made a very poor, life altering choice when he was much younger. The result of his choice placed him in several years, if not an entire life, in the watchful eye of the law. He will never be able to runaway from his mistake. He will never change it. It is what it is.
He has lost several jobs...he has lost several friends...he has lost several love interests...and every single time he feels like it was somebody's fault. No one understands...everyone is picking on me...it was only once...no one is giving me a second chance...it was a setup and I didn't do anything wrong...everyone has an issue with me and I am trying my best to change...these were all excuses that my friend made. Not one of them were true. Regardless of whether or not he was setup he never should have placed himself in that situation. Regardless of what he thinks employers will judge him based upon his mistake (as they should). Regardless of how he feels women will look at him differently (as they should). No matter what he says...no matter how many times he justifies what he did and how life treats him...he needs to realize that it was his fault and take responsibility for his actions.
My friend has struggled, if not failed, at taking care of himself. It is for this reason that friends and love interests leave him. No one wants to be around someone who can't help them in their time of need. Not one wonderful woman wants to be around someone who will never be able to take care of them or their family. My friend, as dear as he is to me, has yet to learn this lesson.
No one...I don't care if they say differently...wants to be around someone who is neglecting themselves. It is painful to watch...and if you want to be respected you have to show others that you respect yourself.
In point, taking care of yourself will allow you to take care of others. When you no longer have to worry about yourself and what is going on in your life you free your mind and time to help care and support those in need.
Both parties need to be taken care of. Both parties need to be tended to. One can't exist without the other. Others can't take care of you if you aren't taking care of yourself. On the flip side, you can't take care of others if you aren't taking care of yourself.
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