I have touched on various aspects of friendship and I feel like there is another aspect worth mentioning.
As a friend you will run across those that you wish could find a way to change into the person that they want to be. As you care for them and grow your friendship you constantly think of ways to help and guide them to their desired outcome. You tend and care to their every need hoping that one day they will change...
Do They?
Everyone will most likely answer "no" to this question.
Why doesn't your influence make others change? Why do your actions, care, support, and friendship not inspire strength and change? What is the deciding factor?
When you meet someone you will undoubtedly establish some sort of a connection with that person...whether it be love, companionship, or support. No matter what influence they have on you...no matter how hard they want you to be that person that either you or others want to see...you will never change for them and, more importantly, you shouldn't.
When you make the decision to change it should always be for yourself. Without changing for your own gain and betterment you will never take that change to heart...you will still display traits and characteristics of your old self. Why?
If you hated oranges because of the texture and you almost never eat them for this reason would you allow someone else to change your mind and force you to like them? No, you wouldn't. If you liked R&B music but your friend hated it would you stop listening to it just to make them happy? No, you wouldn't.
Changing your habits, personality, demeanor, etc. is the exact same circumstance. When you have instilled your own beliefs and opinions you will never let someone else change that aspect of who you are. Regardless of whether or not these aspects are positive or negative you have accepted them. They are a part of who you are. Although others will give you their opinions and sway your beliefs slightly, you will never take their influenced change of mindset to heart..it was never your decision.
Changing is a personal decision. When you finally reach a point in your life when you wish to change certain aspects or beliefs that you have made you will have the correct mindset, determination, and desire to change your situation. It is now your choice and when it is your choice you take the situation more seriously because the outcome means something to you...it is no longer meaningful for someone else...only you.
With this in mind, never expect the ones that you love to change into what you want them to be. Even though you care about their future...their happiness...you will never be able to make that decision for them. By constantly forcing your views and opinions upon them you will not only frustrate yourself but you will frustrate and push away your loved ones. If you want them to change for the better support them. Encourage them every now and again...but more importantly, believe in them.
When you know someone believes in you it changes your perspective. You realize that someone accepts you for who you are but that they also know you can be better. That support and love will mean more than you will ever know and will one day give them the strength and courage to take that first step to change.
My parents have stood by me throughout my entire life. I have fallen...I have stumbled...I have made bad decisions and followed poor mindsets...but instead of lecturing they supported me. Every now and again I would receive a comment explaining what they think could improve my situation...but it was never forced. It was only guidance. They let me make my own decisions and in the end I changed for myself. For that I thank them.
The most influential person in your life is you. You have the power to change anything and everything about yourself...your life...your happiness. You will never be able to be that person for anyone else...but you can be their foundation and fail safe...always keep in mind that you can only change yourself...and you never will, nor should you ever want to, change others.
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