<h4>Disorder...or Genius?</h4>

An interesting conversation recently has spurred a new thought.  We were talking about how our mind works in school so that we could gain a new perspective on ways to succeed.  Somewhere in the conversation a fellow student asked how mental disorders applied.  The scientific answer is that those with mental disorders have chemical imbalances that cause them to think and react differently than most would.  What if, however, the roles were switched?  Many believe that those with bipolar, ADD, etc. are afflicted with a mental disorder...I pose a new thought: those with chemical imbalances within their brain do not have a disorder but rather a gift that allows them to see the world differently.

I was diagnosed bipolar nearly six years ago during my high school senior year.  I will never forget those painful and difficult years.  My thoughts were completely different than those around me.  Things that seemed logical and rational were the exact opposite.  I would do something that I felt was the correct thing to do and I would suffer negative consequences from those around me.  I was confused. 

My fourth quarter of my senior year would place me on my best friend's couch in his basement for three months.  It was far from acceptable living conditions; living in a room crowded with all of your belongings and sleeping on a couch shorter than you with one blanket to keep you warm.  I was eventually admitted to a mental hospital where I stayed for eight long days.  It was there that I was diagnosed with bipolar. 

After months and years of struggling I came to one simple thought: I am bipolar and it is who I am.  I realized that everything in my life prior to these events fit the disorder's description perfectly.  I was always considered different, special, intelligent...but as soon as I was slapped with a disorder with a negative stipulation everyone changed their views.  Why?  What changed?  Nothing.  Many view disorders as a disease that alienates us from the rest of the world.  We are different, but does that place us in a disabled list?

The answer is short and simple: no.  Sense being diagnosed I have met many with similar situations as myself and I have noticed a few things:

1) We are generally very optimistic.  Despite everyone judging us and putting us down we not only accept it, but we do so with a smile.  We rarely get angry and judge others because we know how it feels to be the outcast.  With all of the trials and difficulties that we go through we don't have time to think negatively.

2) Our thought behaviors are very different.  Where someone feels like there is one simple and logical solution we will create several difficult solutions that all lead to the same result.  We aren't trying to prove you wrong.  We aren't saying our solution is better.  We are solving problems and dilemmas to satisfy an inner need for success and knowledge.  We thrive off of pushing our limits and breaking the mold.

3) We are generally very productive and very successful when stable and manic.  Mania (many would compare it to being hyper) gives us an energy and attention that drives us to unknown limitations.  We know we can do it.  We know we can do it well.  So we do.

When you place these three 'differences' together you gain a completely different mindset and perspective.  Prior to being diagnosed I wasn't necessarily thinking irrationally or with a lack of logic but rather with a different set of tools to fix my problems.  In this way my disorder shouldn't be classified as negative but one step closer to genius.  Being able to think out of the box has always been praised and sought after...so why are we excluded when this is exactly what we do?

Russell Brand, Kurt Cobain, Richard Dreyfuss, Mel Gibson, Macy Gray, Ernest Hemingway, Marshall Mathers (Eminem), Florence Nightingale, Ozzy Osbourne...all diagnosed and thought to be bipolar.  The only thing separating others and myself from these famous and praised individuals is our social status.  Are they not thought to be brilliant individuals with talent and success? 

The negative stipulations and fears associated around those with mental disorders is unjustly warranted.  What did we ever do wrong?  Do you think that we enjoy telling our friends, loved ones, employers, and teachers that we are mentally different?  Do you think that it is fun dating someone for two years and then have them leave you all because you were bipolar?  Do you think that it is fun being judged on a regular basis that we will not succeed and that we are less capable than those without a disorder?  Why is it okay to ignore the fact that someone is bipolar when they are famous, rich, and considered successful but disregard those that aren't?

Although I am not famous, although I am unheard, I do not have a disorder, nor have I ever had one.  I am gifted.  I choose to be proud of who I am and what I accomplish.  I choose to be successful and think the way that I do.  Do you? 

I have had my fair share of ups and downs but I have never let it keep me down.  I never will.  I will never judge, I will never blame, I will never accept what many have considered a chemical imbalance that hinders my day-to-day actions.  I will stand tall, dignified and strong.  I am proud to be different.  I am proud to be bipolar.  I am proud of who I am.

The next time you meet an individual with a disorder, even one as simple and common as ADD, do not judge or treat them different.  Do no stereotype and place them in an unwanted category and social status.  We are not disabled.  We are empowered and gifted.  We are our own form of genius.