<h4>A Different Kind of Friend (part 2)</h4>

The other day I had the joy of being able to discuss my ideas and thoughts with a young individual.  He is a great kid with a great heart...and he asked me why I like to think in deep and complex ways...so, I asked myself, why do I?  Why do I think the way I do?

It is actually a rather simple answer.  

The title to this entry is a different kind of friend part 2.  Part 3 is right around the corner...but in logical theory 2 comes before 3.  The answer is that I am a different kind of friend to myself.  

When growing up I was always concerned with what people saw in me...what they expected...what they wanted out of me...what they thought.  When you look at life this way, however, you eventually lose sight of who you are.  What once started out as your goals and hopes turned into another person's dreams.  Essentially, you are now living your life through them.

Then, as I grew older I finally came to the realization that I wasn't dreaming what I wanted to dream...I wasn't...me.  Unfortunately, I over compensated.  When you realize that you lost control you take control of the situation...and if you really lost control...lost sight of your own dreams...then you set out on an endless journey to prove the world wrong.

So I set out to make my mark on the world...to show everyone that I was the answer...

I was the answer...an example...of what not to do.  I learned that there has to be a middle ground.  You have to maintain your own goals and dreams but if you don't let others in to see and contribute then who do you share success with?  And in that case, is it really success if no one else witnessed it?

It is in this light that I discovered a new kind friend...you.  Do you ever sit back and spend time with "you"?  Do you know who "you" are?  I don't mean for these questions to be complex because they aren't.  I am simply asking on whether you do something for yourself everyday that you enjoy...not for someone else.  Do you know what you want and where you want to be?  If you can honestly answer these questions then you know who you are.  But did you know that who you are is one of the closest friends you will ever find?

In theory, you can only be friends with another entity...a person, animal, etc.  But what about befriending your thoughts...your ideas...your actions...your emotions?  So many people are afraid to talk about themselves and spend time doing something they love because they feel selfish.  Let's look at it this way...would you feel right if you were neglecting a best friend?  How about a family member?  Why is neglecting you any different?

You are your own best friend.  You are your biggest support system.  Your mind and thoughts control who you are and how you perceive life.  Don't neglect this friend.  Just like in real friendships with real people, when you care and tend to a relationship it will grow and blossom into something more.  The same can be said for you.  When you take care of yourself and get to know "you" something greater will blossom and come forth. 

Life changed drastically when I started to view myself as a major influence in my life.  I finally woke up and realized that being a manager was not my dream...at the same time, however, I realized that it was me that was stopping me from changing that dream.  When I finally took the steps to get to know me...to see who I really was I changed my own outcome.  I realized that I am my best friend.  When life gets me down I know that I can always go play my guitar (something for me) and I can pick myself up.

The trick my friends is seeing yourself as a friend.  There is a saying that asks if you are your own worst enemy...and most people are.  Doubt and fear and lack of faith in yourself will eventually destroy you.  Just like a real friend, however, your original thoughts and ideas can lift you up out of a slump and change the outcome of that day.  

As I mentioned in an earlier blog...you have to take care of yourself to take care of others.  In other words, you have to be friends with yourself...you have to enjoy being you...before you can take care of others and be a friend for someone else.

Don't be your own worst enemy.  Don't be afraid to do something you enjoy.  When everyone around you is gone you won't be able to count on anyone but God and yourself.  You are a different kind of friend.  You will tell yourself the truth, no matter how hard it is...and that reality will help you fix and uplift your day.  

You can pick and choose the friends you want to be around and be influenced by...but there is only one of you...if you can't befriend yourself then you shouldn't be a friend at all.